5D Library › 依恋理论的计算模型与伴侣互动动力学 · English

第一章 内部工作模型:从陌生情境到两个维度

鲍尔比与安斯沃思

英国精神科医生约翰·鲍尔比提出,婴儿与照料者之间的依恋是一套进化而来的行为系统:在受到威胁、疲倦或不安时,婴儿会寻求靠近照料者;照料者成为「安全港」,平静下来之后又成为向外探索的「安全基地」。鲍尔比认为,孩子会从反复的互动中形成关于「他人是否可得、自己是否值得被照顾」的内部工作模型,并用它来预测以后的关系 (Bowlby 1969)。

证据

陌生情境。 安斯沃思与同事设计了一个约 20 分钟的实验室程序:一岁左右的婴儿在陌生房间里经历与母亲的两次短暂分离和重聚,中间有陌生人进出。研究者主要观察重聚时婴儿的反应:大多数婴儿在分离时有些不安,重聚时主动寻求母亲、很快被安抚并回去玩耍(安全型);一些婴儿在重聚时回避母亲、看上去若无其事(回避型);另一些婴儿在重聚时既寻求靠近又生气抗拒、难以被安抚(矛盾型或抗拒型)。在他们的巴尔的摩样本中,母亲在家中对婴儿信号的敏感性与婴儿在陌生情境中的分类相关 (Ainsworth et al. 1978)。

从婴儿到成人:类型还是维度

哈赞与谢弗把依恋的思路用到成人的恋爱关系上,让读者在三段描述中选择最像自己的一段,对应安全、回避与焦虑—矛盾三种「风格」 (Hazan and Shaver 1987)。巴塞洛缪与霍洛维茨随后提出四类模型:根据「对自我的看法」与「对他人的看法」是正面还是负面,分为安全型、痴迷型(preoccupied)、疏离型(dismissing)与恐惧型(fearful) (Bartholomew and Horowitz 1991)。

证据

两个维度。 布伦南、克拉克与谢弗把当时已有的成人依恋自陈量表(约 60 个分量表)的 323 个题目合在一起,对一千多名大学生施测,发现题目主要沿两个大致独立的维度分布:依恋焦虑(担心被抛弃、需要对方不断确认、对关系中的冷淡信号高度敏感)与依恋回避(对亲密和依赖感到不适、倾向于自己处理、在压力下拉开距离)。他们据此编制了「亲密关系经历量表」(ECR),焦虑与回避各 18 题 (Brennan et al. 1998)。弗雷利等人用项目反应理论改进了这个量表 (Fraley et al. 2000)。弗雷利等人后来用分类计量(taxometric)方法检验了大样本数据,结论是成人依恋的个体差异更符合连续维度,而不是彼此分隔的类别 (Fraley et al. 2015)。

这一点对本书很重要:「焦虑型」「回避型」只是维度上的位置的简称,就像「高个子」只是身高的一个区段。把连续的分数切成四个格子,会让接近分界的人在两次测量之间被贴上不同的标签,即使他们本人没有任何变化。

推导

2,000 个模拟的人,每人有真实的焦虑与回避分数;问卷以 0.90 的信度测量它们。用两个量表的中点把人分成四种「风格」,然后让同样的人在几周后再做一次问卷。

# Attachment as two dimensions, not four boxes. Simulated questionnaire data in the style of the
# ECR (Brennan, Clark & Shaver 1998): each person has true anxiety and avoidance scores; the
# questionnaire measures them with error (reliability about 0.90 per scale). "Styles" are then made
# by cutting each scale at its midpoint (secure = low/low, preoccupied = high anxiety only,
# dismissing = high avoidance only, fearful = high/high). How often does the label change when the
# same people answer again a few weeks later, although nothing about them has changed?
import math, random
rng = random.Random(1)
N, REL = 2000, 0.90
err_sd = math.sqrt((1 - REL) / REL)            # error SD relative to true-score SD 1

def label(anx, avo):
    return {(0, 0): "secure", (1, 0): "preoccupied", (0, 1): "dismissing", (1, 1): "fearful"}[(anx > 0, avo > 0)]

people = [(rng.gauss(0, 1), rng.gauss(0, 1)) for _ in range(N)]
flips, near, near_flips = 0, 0, 0
counts, a1s, a2s = {}, [], []
for anx, avo in people:
    a1, a2 = anx + rng.gauss(0, err_sd), anx + rng.gauss(0, err_sd)
    a1s.append(a1); a2s.append(a2)
    t1 = label(a1, avo + rng.gauss(0, err_sd))
    t2 = label(a2, avo + rng.gauss(0, err_sd))
    counts[t1] = counts.get(t1, 0) + 1
    if t1 != t2: flips += 1
    if min(abs(anx), abs(avo)) < 0.5:
        near += 1; near_flips += t1 != t2
print("labels at time 1:", ", ".join(f"{k} {v / N:.0%}" for k, v in sorted(counts.items())))
print(f"same people, same true scores, re-tested: label changes for {flips / N:.0%}")
print(f"among people within 0.5 SD of a cut-off on either scale ({near / N:.0%} of all): {near_flips / near:.0%} change")
def corr(x, y):
    mx, my = sum(x) / len(x), sum(y) / len(y)
    sxy = sum((a - mx) * (b - my) for a, b in zip(x, y))
    return sxy / math.sqrt(sum((a - mx) ** 2 for a in x) * sum((b - my) ** 2 for b in y))
print(f"yet the continuous anxiety score correlates r = {corr(a1s, a2s):.2f} between the two occasions")
# labels at time 1: dismissing 25%, fearful 25%, preoccupied 26%, secure 25%
# same people, same true scores, re-tested: label changes for 26%
# among people within 0.5 SD of a cut-off on either scale (62% of all): 41% change
# yet the continuous anxiety score correlates r = 0.90 between the two occasions

连续分数在两次测量之间的相关高达 0.90,但约四分之一的人「风格」标签变了;在离任一分界线半个标准差以内的人(占六成以上)中,四成的人标签变了。这不是人变了,而是分格的方式丢掉了信息。所以本书谈「焦虑」与「回避」时,指的是程度。

注

依恋不是诊断。 依恋焦虑与回避是人格与社会心理学中的个体差异维度,不是精神障碍。医学上确有与早期严重忽视相关的诊断(例如反应性依恋障碍),但那与日常所说的「我是焦虑型依恋」完全不是一回事。网络上流行的「依恋类型测试」大多不是经过验证的量表,结果也不应被用来给自己或伴侣下结论。

焦虑与回避在压力下的表现

证据

压力下的寻求与给予支持。 辛普森、罗尔斯与内利根让恋爱中的伴侣来到实验室,告诉女方她即将经历一项令人焦虑的程序,然后让伴侣二人在等待室里单独相处五分钟并录像。较为回避的女性,越焦虑反而越少向伴侣寻求支持;较为回避的男性,在女友越焦虑时给予的支持越少。较为安全的人则相反:越焦虑越寻求支持,对方越焦虑越给予支持 (Simpson et al. 1992)。

这项研究说明,回避并不是「不需要」,而是在最需要的时候倾向于关闭寻求与给予的通道。焦虑则相反,表现为对关系线索的高度警觉与更强烈的寻求。成人依恋研究的综述认为,焦虑与回避可以理解为依恋系统的两种调节策略:焦虑对应「过度激活」,回避对应「去激活」 (Mikulincer and Shaver 2016)。

把内部工作模型写成先验

「内部工作模型」可以借用贝叶斯推断的语言来表述:一个人对「我伸出手时,对方会回应吗」有一个先验信念,每一次互动都提供新的证据。西特恩、诺尔特、弗里斯顿与埃达拉特用主动推理框架为依恋建立了比较完整的计算模型,在其中婴儿对照料者可得性的预期由经验学得,并影响其后的探索与寻求行为 (Cittern et al. 2018)。下面用一个简单得多的模型说明三种可能的机制。

推导

把「对方回应我」的概率记为 θ\theta,信念用贝塔分布 Beta(a,b)\mathrm{Beta}(a, b) 表示,均值为 a/(a+b)a/(a+b)。每一次得到回应,aa 加 1;每一次落空,bb 加 ww。三种示意的倾向:偏安全(先验均值 0.8,w=1w = 1,经常伸手);偏焦虑(先验不确定,均值 0.5,落空的权重加倍 w=2w = 2);偏回避(先验均值 0.25,很少伸手,每次场合只有四分之一的机会去试)。三人面对的是同一个伴侣:80% 的情况下会回应。

# Internal working model as a prior belief about a partner's availability. theta = probability that
# the partner responds when one reaches out ("makes a bid"). Belief = Beta(a, b); each bid that is
# answered adds 1 to a, each one that is missed adds w_neg to b. A toy version of the idea, worked
# out far more fully with active inference by Cittern et al. (2018); all parameters illustrative.
#   secure-leaning : expects availability (prior mean 0.8), counts misses at face value, bids often
#   anxiety-leaning: unsure prior (mean 0.5), a missed bid weighs twice as much (w_neg = 2)
#   avoidance-leaning: expects unavailability (prior mean 0.25), and rarely bids, so learns little
# The partner is the same for all three: answers 80 % of bids.
import random
PROFILES = {"secure-leaning": (8, 2, 1.0, 1.0), "anxiety-leaning": (2, 2, 2.0, 1.0),
            "avoidance-leaning": (2, 6, 1.0, 0.25)}          # a0, b0, weight of a miss, P(bid)
TRUE_P = 0.8

def run(a, b, w_neg, p_bid, n_occasions, rng):
    for _ in range(n_occasions):
        if rng.random() < p_bid:
            if rng.random() < TRUE_P: a += 1
            else: b += w_neg
    return a / (a + b)

rng = random.Random(3)
print("belief that the partner will respond (true value 0.80), mean over 2,000 simulated histories")
print("profile            | start | after 10 occasions | after 50 | after 200")
for name, (a0, b0, w, pb) in PROFILES.items():
    row = [sum(run(a0, b0, w, pb, n, rng) for _ in range(2000)) / 2000 for n in (10, 50, 200)]
    print(f"{name:18s} | {a0 / (a0 + b0):5.2f} | {row[0]:18.2f} | {row[1]:8.2f} | {row[2]:9.2f}")
# The asymmetric weight does not wash out: with w_neg = 2 the belief settles near
# p / (p + 2(1 - p)) = 0.8 / 1.2 = 0.67, however long the relationship lasts.
print(f"long-run belief with misses counted double: {TRUE_P / (TRUE_P + 2 * (1 - TRUE_P)):.2f}")
# Avoidance learns slowly because it collects little evidence, not because evidence is ignored.
# belief that the partner will respond (true value 0.80), mean over 2,000 simulated histories
# profile            | start | after 10 occasions | after 50 | after 200
# secure-leaning     |  0.80 |               0.80 |     0.80 |      0.80
# anxiety-leaning    |  0.50 |               0.63 |     0.66 |      0.67
# avoidance-leaning  |  0.25 |               0.37 |     0.58 |      0.73
# long-run belief with misses counted double: 0.67

这个玩具模型显示了三种不同的机制。偏安全的人信念准确,并保持准确。偏焦虑的人信念会上升,但停在约 0.67,永远达不到 0.8:这不是因为证据不足,而是因为每次落空都被加倍计算,偏差不会随时间消失。偏回避的人起点最低,但最终会接近真实值;他学得慢,不是因为忽视证据,而是因为很少去收集证据。

假说 · 尚未验证

两种「学得慢」的区分(尚未确立)。依恋焦虑主要表现为对负面证据的加权偏差,依恋回避主要表现为对证据的采样不足。可以检验的预测:在一项重复的「伸手—回应」实验任务中(例如虚拟伙伴以固定概率回应),焦虑分数较高的人对回应概率的估计会稳定地偏低,即使试次很多;回避分数较高的人主动发起的试次较少,但在被要求发起同样多试次时,估计偏差会明显缩小。如果两组的偏差在强制采样后没有区别,或者焦虑组的偏差随试次增多而消失,这一假说就被削弱。

注

模型的限度。 真实的工作模型不是一个数,而是关于自己、他人和关系的一整套预期、记忆、情绪与策略;人也会根据不同的关系拥有不同的模型(对父母、对伴侣、对朋友)。上面的模型只用来说明「先验」与「更新方式」是两件不同的事。

本章小结

依恋理论认为,早期互动形成关于他人可得性与自我价值的内部工作模型。成人依恋研究的主流做法把个体差异描述为焦虑与回避两个连续维度,把它们切成类型会丢掉信息。在压力下,较回避的人倾向于关闭寻求与给予支持的通道,较焦虑的人倾向于加强寻求。把工作模型写成先验可以看出:偏差可能来自先验本身、来自对证据的加权,也可能来自收集的证据太少。下一章讨论,当一个人的「寻求」碰上另一个人的「关闭」时会发生什么。

参考文献

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Fan, Y. (2026). Computational Attachment Theory and Couple Interaction Dynamics: From Anxious-Avoidant Coupled Oscillators and Gottman's Nonlinear Difference Equations to Updating Early Relational Priors [依恋理论的计算模型与伴侣互动动力学] (Version 1.0.0). 5D Library. https://doi.org/10.5281/zenodo.23754715 · Licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International (CC BY-NC-ND 4.0).